14 June, 2005

Back stories

I'd imagine that you are expecting a long-winded recap of my life events. I should use this space to wow you with my adventures being a Jedi Knight, my tragic childhood, and my unforseen death.
I'd rather not speak of said things.
Simply, after the time I spent as part of the living Force, my past means nothing. My life in that tired vessel has ended. Now I should concentrate on more important things.
The 'should' is the variable in that statement.
Being one with the Force is like nothing I'd ever experienced. A high unsurpassed by any human experiences.
At this moment, I am euphoric. I can't recall the last time I ever was. It is possible that I had never experienced such a feeling in mortal life. I am one with everything. I am stardust. I am the stars themselves. And it is like, far out.
I don't know if I am ready to speak with my old Padawan. It sounds as though he is slipping into the Dark. I fear that he will leave the Jedi order to become a slave to this 'Walmart.' Nascar and professional wrestling are tools of the Sith. Does he not know that the very Sith Lord, Darth Maul, that killed me, was the Maulinator from the GWOotOfWitG (Galactic Wrestling Order of the Organisation for Wrestling in the Galaxy)? I do hope that he has not taken up chewing tobacco again. There is nothing more horrid than stepping in a gob of warm slimy tobacco spittle. Even with the Force, he had poor aim. And we lacked a spitoon.
But, I digress.
Peace be will all of you children of the Force and the stars and the moons and all that is groovy.


At 5:53 am, Blogger Count Dooku said...

Qui-Gon old boy! It's been a long time! Good to see you old chap, eh what?

You do seem a little spaced-out though, although I do recall you were the...er...'happiest' Padawan out there. Come and have a cuppa with your master sometime, eh? If Force ghosts drink tea.


At 11:38 am, Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said...

Qui - Gon!!!

At 2:01 pm, Blogger Han Solo said...


Wait, where am I?

At 5:36 pm, Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Master Dooku,
I would love to stop by for a cuppa, but none of those crumpets. When I was a Padawan, it was always tea and crumpets. "I'm sorry you scraped you knee, have a cuppa and a crumpet." "I'm sorry Master Windu has surpassed you in the Jedi Order, have a crumpet." "I'm sorry that I've turned to the dark side and slaughtered your friends, have a crumpet."
You were civil, but all those crumpets made me a fat little Padawan. I had to go on Jabba's Deal a Meal (R) to shed those excess pounds.

At 6:02 pm, Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Khan... The only Khan's I know is those hot dogs I had when I was an itty bitty boy at the Temple.
Everyone sing along!
Hot dogs, Temple Hot dogs!
What kind of Jedi love Temple Hot Dogs?
Twi'lek kids, Kel Dor kids, Padawans on speeder bikes
Hutt kids, Human kids, even Master Yoda likes those Hot dogs, Temple Hot dogs
The Hot Dogs Jedi love to bite!
(Disclaimer: Mace Windu has stated that he does not care for said Hot dogs as they are filled with MSG and unidenifiable meat stuffs.)

At 10:10 pm, Blogger Aayla Secura said...


^Definately the dark side.

At 1:51 pm, Blogger Master Yoda said...


Now that dead you are, call ahead before showing up at the Jedi Temple can you? Creep me out, it does, when out of nowhere you pop up like that.

At 1:56 pm, Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Sorry, Master Y.
I'm out of text messages and the smoke signals didn't pull off the effect that I wanted them to.
Want a brownie?

At 5:42 pm, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

The euphoria of being one with the Force, is that like racing up a flight of stairs then slamming a beer? 'Cuz that'll give you a buzz but good.

At 9:32 pm, Blogger j00|{z said...

Glad you're one with the Force. What a long strange journey it's been, eh?

What is it with brownies and Star Wars today?

At 1:57 am, Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

You all should have a brownie. They are special.
They make you one with everything. You are everything and everything is you, man.
There is nothing quite like floating there, melting into the world. Tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
And I used Naboo's Finest Chocolate! Along with a little something that was from the Kessel Spice mines, but no matter.
Free of Wookie fudge!

At 4:00 pm, Blogger j00|{z said...

"Free of Wookie fudge!"
Qui-gon, you are the coolest. Everything you say actually makes sense. Unlike that one guy who goes 'meesa' a lot.


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