19 July, 2005

Guest Post : C3P0

Hello. I am C3P0, Human Cyborg Relations. I have been asked by my compatriot, Master Qui-Gon Jinn, to provide a post for his amusing blog, as he is away on Tatooine.
I come to you with current reports on the whereabouts and wellbeing of some rather famous people, on behalf of C! (Cybertainment Holovision).
It seems that my creator, Master Anakin Skywalker, is having a torrid love affair with Senator Padme Amidala, of Naboo. As seen above, the two engaged in a kiss, which is forbidden by the Jedi Council Code 3263827. When Master Reporter Thom Thompson asked Senator Amidala about said matters, she replied, "OhEmGee! Like, no-one was like totally supposed to see that and junk! And, and, and... Like it wasn't a kiss or anything. Seriously. It was like, I was choking on a Rolo. And, like, Ani, being a Jedi and all, he like was all selfless and wanted to rescue me, and junk." Afterward, Master Thompson met up with the Maker, Anakin Skywalker. We wish Thom a speedy recovery after the loss of both of his hands.
In other news, there has been a notable battle between Little Dookie Baked Goods, the mother company of Sith Scout Cookies, and the fledgling enterprise, Uncle Jinn and J.J.'s Brownies Ltd. Our Ace Twi'lek reporter Gabook'Li spoke with Count Dooku himself on the recent accusations that his baked goods are laced with highly dangerous chemicals.
Gabook'Li: Count Dooku, it is always a pleasure.
Dooku: Certainly, old chap. *offers tea and crumpets* Cuppa?
G: Thank you, but no, sir.
D: *waves his hand infront of Gabook'Li* You will have a cuppa and a crumpet, and you bloody well best enjoy it.
G: (monotone) I will have a cuppa and a crumpet and I will bloody enjoy it. *takes a cup of tea and a crumpet* Um, yes, my question. There has been a lot of negative press about your multi-system corporation recently. It is said that your foods have been known to contain MSG, DDT, PCP, THC, and traces of BVD's. What the galaxy is dying to know is, are any of these accusations warranted?
D: *runs his fingers over his beard, looking deep in thought* These current recriminations have hurt, not only our sales base, but also the moral standards of the company itself. I assure you, our foods contain nothing that you have just listed. We use only the finest ingredients in our line of snacks. *coughandsodiumpenthanolcough*
G: What was that?
D: *waves his hand in front of Gabook'Li* It was nothing. It must be allergies.
G: (monotone) It was nothing. It must be allergies.
Well, there you have it! Top notch reporting from C!'s own Gabook'Li!
Well, until next time, this has been Threepio for C! Cybertainment Holovision (not to be confused with any other branch of Cyber Enterprises, Cybernaughts, Cybermen, Cybersmut, or Big Bad Beetle Borgs).


At 1:09 pm, Blogger flu said...

Wow! It's like, all the dirt on everybody that's fit to print, right here on QGJ's blog!...and brought by C3PO no less!

This is bizarro-world.

At 1:22 pm, Blogger jedisiri said...

wow c3po i don't know you are so talented in writing that blog thing!

At 2:16 pm, Blogger JawaJuice said...

You should have C3P0 guest blog every week or so to catch us all up on everything.
Love the show.

At 3:19 pm, Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

I built you, and I can activate your self-destruct too.

Just sumthin to think over. Other than that, the shizzy not about me was pretty cool.

At 4:47 pm, Blogger Threepio said...

Oh dear.
Master Anakin, I did not mean to offend you, sir. I was commissioned by C! (Cybertainment Holovison) and Master Jinn to provide an informative post.
I do so hope that you can forgive me, sir. I will be certain to avoid reporting news about Senator Amidala or you, Master Anakin, in any further postings. Please do not destroy me, sir. And, if you would be so kind, please permit me to keep my hands.
Thank you, Master,

At 1:02 am, Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Well, I guess since you can't hold stuff for us if you ain't got hands, I'll letcha keep 'em. Just... keep it on the d/l about me and her, okay?

At 5:21 am, Blogger jedisiri said...

hey ani there should be speech freedom !

At 2:37 pm, Blogger Master Yoda said...

Padikan (or Anime)

At 3:25 pm, Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Freedom of speech is fine, Siri, as long as it ain't about me and Padme sucking face... I mean... me saving her from choking or whatevs, you know?

At 10:29 pm, Blogger JawaJuice said...


At 3:22 am, Blogger Barriss Offee said...

Well, Anakin, you could try getting a room for once, instead of sucking face in the Temple lounge. It's disgusting, we don't need to watch you guys put on a show every time.


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